This last few months, my son James and the Band of Mustaches from Chase Oaks Church, have been reading with me a book title “Every Young Man’s Battle.” This book is teaching us how to live like Godly men in the area of sexual purity. The book is very candid and does a great job teaching what GOD expects of us men when it comes to controlling our mind and body. We get together at my house every other week and review what we read, then see how we can apply it to our lives.
The last five chapters have been on masturbation (yes five chapters) and we have had some very candid and honest discussions as men. Chapter 13 presents the idea that the only way we men can win over the battle of our sex drive, is to starve it. GOD gave us a sex drive, and that one has its own way of working out the tension. However, most guys feed another sex drive based on the movies, TV shows, music, and things we see online. Even the Victoria Secret Catalog also has a special place in the discussions.
The book presents the visual that this man-made sexual drive is like a 400 pound Sumo Wrestler who kicks our butt any time we dare to fight against it. The idea is that we must “Starve the Sumo” so he becomes weak and frail, and we can easily stand up against it. The only way to do that is to not feed our eyes and minds with lustful images that fuel the need to be satisfied.
This is where these young men could use some help from others who want to support their desire to keep themselves pure for their future bride, and avoid the dehumanization of women.
Dad – Don’t be a pig. Dirty jokes are never cool, and your son and his friends do not need to hear one more time on what a stud you were in college. Set the example of how your son should respect and honor women, and his own body, because in most cases, he looks up to you and will grow up to be just like you. Take time to read reviews on Plugged In before you take your son to a movie so you know if someone is having sex or showing off too much skin. This stuff feeds the Sumo.
Mom – Please don’t let your son, and don’t you either, watch TV shows and movies, that include people having sex. Funny shows like “How I met Your Mother” or “Friends” are just loaded up with people having casual sex with other people like it was no big deal. Frankly, the only person your son should ever see having sex is themselves with their own wife. Other than that, it feeds the Sumo. And please don’t allow magazines like Victoria Secret or Cosmopolitan to be in your house because the images and articles feed the Sumo.
Women – These young men already think you are beautiful, please focus on modesty and not trying to be sexy. At my sons age (16), even girls in sweat pants and t-shirts are still exciting. However, it’s like serving up a giant stack of pancakes for the Sumo when you show up in tight shorts and any shirt that lets us see you bra or belly (yes, its doesn’t take much). Show interest in these young men but don’t flirt or lead them on. Our minds do not need more encouragement to imagine what you are subtly hinting at. This leads young men to womanize you and it definitely feeds the Sumo.
Men – be open and real with each other so we can encourage each other to stand up for purity in a world that does not. What you put into your minds will never leave, and your future wife and daughter deserve a man who will honor and respect them with his mind and body. You must practice this now so it will be a way of life when you get out on your own. Failure to do this is creating a desire that you must fulfill and will take you down a road that separates us from a loving GOD who desires closely with you.
Parents – This has been an intense book to read but one I recommend for any parent who is willing to fight for the purity and innocence of his Son. Buy the book, read it with your son, have the awkward conversations, and do it now because his buddies at school have been talking to him about this for years and he needs your help.
Please share this with other parents so they can join us in the battle to help our sons Starve the Sumo!
Band of Mustache Leader, Father of James, Child of GOD.